The Thin Line

I was chatting online about this, and thought it would be good to share this with you lovely guys.

Now and then, me and one of the other girls will go over to the local pub. As I mentioned before, I always go casual, and not dressed like a hooker. There is a group of guys we normally chat to. Anyway, last week I had a booking for a guy who had asked for me personally. I did not think much of it. However when he turned up, it was one of the guys from the pub. Now I know my job, and I know what that entails, but it just felt uncomfortable going with someone I have had a few drinks with...and charging them for sex. I mentioned to the receptionist I felt uncomfortable, and was told more or less to "suck it up". It seems we can only refuse a client if they have been offensive before, or smells.

So I went in and "done my job". Despite averaging around 10 customers a day, I felt self-conscious being naked in his presence. Of course I was a pro, and done what was needed. But it felt wrong, it felt bad. I know I am a prostitute, but have never had that feeling of sleaziness, or shame in my proffesion. This made me feel cheap, and hit home what I am doing.

A hooker/ client relationship is not like a loving relationship. There are obligations on the hooker to be discreet, but none on the client. The thought of him telling everyone I know in the pub what he had done with/to me gave me a real bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Despite this, I was not going to let this defeat me. The following night, I walked in the pub as if nothing happened, but we did not sit with this group of guys.

Earlier this week we went to a different pub, and boy does news travel. No one knew about the guy from the other pub, but they did know we were the "brasses from the local knocking shop". (Translation for non London people - Hookers from the local brothel).

We had a few "looking for business girls?", but we ignored it. Later one guy approached us and asked if either of us would give him a BJ in the bathroom for £xx. Whilst it was higher than our usual rate, we declined.

Whilst Pretty Woman is as much to do about real prostitution as Bambi is, I do remember the line where Richard Gere says to Julia Roberts that he had never treated her like a prostitute, and she says, "You just Did?". I think these two episodes really hit home to me what I am doing.

Now do not get me wrong, I am not sitting here crying over my choices. I am still happy with what I am doing. It just highlights that being a prostitute can be just as much a lifestyle as it is a mere job. If you was an accountant, you would not go to the bar and expect someone to throw a load of paper on their table and ask them to do a Tax Return, but people think it is fine to ask a hooker for sex in the toilet.

Knowing this empowers me. I am now alert to people when I am in bars. I am open about what I am, but make it clear that I am off duty.

xx